Hello!
I am my biggest critic. Honestly, I wonder sometimes... Before I walk into a room, I wonder if I should make eye contact with people or if I should just stair and walk strait for my seat. When I'm handed back a test, my immediate reaction, before seeing the grade, is that I'm preparing myself for failure. After saying something, I consider all of the possible ways in which my statement could have been interpreted. If I find that it could have been interpreted negatively I get scared. Will that person judge me now? Will they dislike me? Will they think that I'm rude?
Recently, it made it's way to me that another student had a rather negative interpretation of me. I don't actually know this person, and I've never had a conversation with them. Knowing that this person thinks something negative about me drives me crazy though. I don't know what it is, but it just drives me wild. I try and provide myself with examples to justify their words, and once I find them, I feel horrible. Why would I say that? That was probably rude. I should stop saying things of *this*genre.
I guess I could call myself a personality perfectionist. I find something wrong in myself and I attack it until it's gone.
On the other hand, this makes me get almost mad at myself. Why should I allow other people, who may or may not be of better character to drive me so insane. Especially if it's one of my peers, what does it matter what they think? I shouldn't give anyone the power to make me feel self-conscious.
I'm not quite as self concious as I made this out to be, I promise.
-D.F.T.B.A.-
Mina;)
I am my biggest critic. Honestly, I wonder sometimes... Before I walk into a room, I wonder if I should make eye contact with people or if I should just stair and walk strait for my seat. When I'm handed back a test, my immediate reaction, before seeing the grade, is that I'm preparing myself for failure. After saying something, I consider all of the possible ways in which my statement could have been interpreted. If I find that it could have been interpreted negatively I get scared. Will that person judge me now? Will they dislike me? Will they think that I'm rude?
Recently, it made it's way to me that another student had a rather negative interpretation of me. I don't actually know this person, and I've never had a conversation with them. Knowing that this person thinks something negative about me drives me crazy though. I don't know what it is, but it just drives me wild. I try and provide myself with examples to justify their words, and once I find them, I feel horrible. Why would I say that? That was probably rude. I should stop saying things of *this*genre.
I guess I could call myself a personality perfectionist. I find something wrong in myself and I attack it until it's gone.
On the other hand, this makes me get almost mad at myself. Why should I allow other people, who may or may not be of better character to drive me so insane. Especially if it's one of my peers, what does it matter what they think? I shouldn't give anyone the power to make me feel self-conscious.
I'm not quite as self concious as I made this out to be, I promise.
-D.F.T.B.A.-
Mina;)
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