Hello!
So, Friday was one of the most horrible days of my life, ever. But, if Friday was the worst, than Saturday was quite possibly one of the best.
I sat down with my aunt and uncle, and I told them about a lot of things that have bothered me since forever ago. Well, I seem to always feel very alone and quiet and I never really tell people about anything. I'm just passive, all of the time, and some days became infinitely better than other days, based upon my ability to forget about the things that make me angry or sad and focus on how pleasant that day was. The problem with forgetting and living in the moment, is that this bliss is really only momentary, and once it creeps back into your thoughts again, you haven't made any progress at all. The problem is never solved.
When you're a teenager, adults have a nasty habit of dismissing all of your troubles and placing them in the box with the label "Stuff That Happens When You're a Teenager". So, if you're particularly mad or on the brink of a meltdown, you get written off as being hormonal and dramatic and everyone tells you that you're overacting and about how you're putting on a show and -oh- it's not amusing and just go to bed so that you can feel better in the morning. But, you never feel better in the morning. All you feel is ignored. I know that my parents get tired of hearing me tell them that they aren't listening. But, in that moment, even when all you want in the world is to just blurt out a billion words per second and tell them everything, you can't find the words, and while you struggle for those syllables that will get them to understand you're getting told the above phrase. You're overreacting. You're being dramatic.
I got a lot off my chest Saturday. Saturday was a good day. I went to bed, and I felt relieved of this enormous pressure that I felt I have been carrying since the dawn of time.
I spoke to Grace via the magic of Google today. It was a wonderful conversation. Wonderful. I felt really good hanging up (or rather clicking on the little icon).
Today, specifically, was a very good day as well. I was very - free - today. If that's the right word.
blahadaldhaldhadlgogojgojgonuhwygwygekbnflefhlekfnsksbfeujbfsjebkjsbfeoauwpouiqoihekjnd
-D.F.T.B.A.-
Mina;)
So, Friday was one of the most horrible days of my life, ever. But, if Friday was the worst, than Saturday was quite possibly one of the best.
I sat down with my aunt and uncle, and I told them about a lot of things that have bothered me since forever ago. Well, I seem to always feel very alone and quiet and I never really tell people about anything. I'm just passive, all of the time, and some days became infinitely better than other days, based upon my ability to forget about the things that make me angry or sad and focus on how pleasant that day was. The problem with forgetting and living in the moment, is that this bliss is really only momentary, and once it creeps back into your thoughts again, you haven't made any progress at all. The problem is never solved.
When you're a teenager, adults have a nasty habit of dismissing all of your troubles and placing them in the box with the label "Stuff That Happens When You're a Teenager". So, if you're particularly mad or on the brink of a meltdown, you get written off as being hormonal and dramatic and everyone tells you that you're overacting and about how you're putting on a show and -oh- it's not amusing and just go to bed so that you can feel better in the morning. But, you never feel better in the morning. All you feel is ignored. I know that my parents get tired of hearing me tell them that they aren't listening. But, in that moment, even when all you want in the world is to just blurt out a billion words per second and tell them everything, you can't find the words, and while you struggle for those syllables that will get them to understand you're getting told the above phrase. You're overreacting. You're being dramatic.
I got a lot off my chest Saturday. Saturday was a good day. I went to bed, and I felt relieved of this enormous pressure that I felt I have been carrying since the dawn of time.
I spoke to Grace via the magic of Google today. It was a wonderful conversation. Wonderful. I felt really good hanging up (or rather clicking on the little icon).
Today, specifically, was a very good day as well. I was very - free - today. If that's the right word.
blahadaldhaldhadlgogojgojgonuhwygwygekbnflefhlekfnsksbfeujbfsjebkjsbfeoauwpouiqoihekjnd
-D.F.T.B.A.-
Mina;)
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