Hello!
So, I'm writing this on my phone, because ( like the genius I claim to be) I lost the charger to the laptop. So, congratulations you! You get to read a post full of odd spelling and general offness.
Today, was extremely busy for me. The day couldn't was taking forever, but I finally left at 2:00 to go sing with choir at a nursing home.
I had my solo, and I think I did okay. I mean, I didn't mess up, but I wasn't amazing. I don't think so anyways.
Singing in front of the elderly is just depressing. I know that it shouldn't be, but I just thought that one day I'm going to be the parent of a cute little toddler, and when I'm long gone, that cute little toddler is going to look like those people. They had broken arms, amputated legs, scars, and general patheticness. I was just glad I guess that we could brighten their day for a little while.
We walked back to school, and I talked to Eleanor for about an hour about stuff. I like Eleanor. She's pretty cool.
I finally went home and tried to de-goth my clothing. I didn't mean to be dressed so darkly, but I had to wear black for choir, and somehow I seemed to get a lot of comments today about how borderline goth I looked, and how it "suits" me. What?
At around 6:00 I went with my date to a show at my old school. Hahaha... Who was my date?
Miss Mollie was my date... Fooled you! Anyways, being on the other side of the show was really strange. The show was always so exciting and energetic. I didn't quite feel that way in the audience.
I was really nervous about going to tell you the truth. I was afraid of talking to people, I was afraid of being awkward, I was afraid of saying the wrong thing, and for some strange reason: I was afraid that people wouldn't like me? That's weird, right? I don't know...
I was getting really tense and fidgety and uncomfortable being there. My whole life is in that school, with those people. I just... I wanted to observe and not be observed.
I wish that I had spoken more to people. But with the whole crew of graduates there, I didn't get to speak much. I haven't decided if that's a good thing. I wish that I could have not even myself tonight, and perhaps had been that wonderful outgoing person I try to be all of the time. I was so scared and I don't even know why?
I did a lot of putting my head on Miss Mollie's shoulder and squeezing her arm.
Oh, I forgot to mention that I got to go up and sing with Glee Club! That was cool, but I bet I looked awkward, and people always mistake my being awkward for lack of enthusiasm.
I sound so depressing, I'm sorry!!! I swear I had fun! I really liked seeing people! I'm just a horrible person and I can't help but complain. I wish I could re-do the night, and replace my stomach aches with a few more SMILES!
Can someone explain to me why I was so scared of going?
-D.F.T.B.A-
Mina;)
PS It is officially YOUR job to make sure that Sylvanna sees this:
I'm so sorry!!! I love you! I love you!!! I'm sorry! I'm soooo sorry! You know that I was just joking, right? Don't you dare make that face... I'm so sorry!!! :)
So, I'm writing this on my phone, because ( like the genius I claim to be) I lost the charger to the laptop. So, congratulations you! You get to read a post full of odd spelling and general offness.
Today, was extremely busy for me. The day couldn't was taking forever, but I finally left at 2:00 to go sing with choir at a nursing home.
I had my solo, and I think I did okay. I mean, I didn't mess up, but I wasn't amazing. I don't think so anyways.
Singing in front of the elderly is just depressing. I know that it shouldn't be, but I just thought that one day I'm going to be the parent of a cute little toddler, and when I'm long gone, that cute little toddler is going to look like those people. They had broken arms, amputated legs, scars, and general patheticness. I was just glad I guess that we could brighten their day for a little while.
We walked back to school, and I talked to Eleanor for about an hour about stuff. I like Eleanor. She's pretty cool.
I finally went home and tried to de-goth my clothing. I didn't mean to be dressed so darkly, but I had to wear black for choir, and somehow I seemed to get a lot of comments today about how borderline goth I looked, and how it "suits" me. What?
At around 6:00 I went with my date to a show at my old school. Hahaha... Who was my date?
Miss Mollie was my date... Fooled you! Anyways, being on the other side of the show was really strange. The show was always so exciting and energetic. I didn't quite feel that way in the audience.
I was really nervous about going to tell you the truth. I was afraid of talking to people, I was afraid of being awkward, I was afraid of saying the wrong thing, and for some strange reason: I was afraid that people wouldn't like me? That's weird, right? I don't know...
I was getting really tense and fidgety and uncomfortable being there. My whole life is in that school, with those people. I just... I wanted to observe and not be observed.
I wish that I had spoken more to people. But with the whole crew of graduates there, I didn't get to speak much. I haven't decided if that's a good thing. I wish that I could have not even myself tonight, and perhaps had been that wonderful outgoing person I try to be all of the time. I was so scared and I don't even know why?
I did a lot of putting my head on Miss Mollie's shoulder and squeezing her arm.
Oh, I forgot to mention that I got to go up and sing with Glee Club! That was cool, but I bet I looked awkward, and people always mistake my being awkward for lack of enthusiasm.
I sound so depressing, I'm sorry!!! I swear I had fun! I really liked seeing people! I'm just a horrible person and I can't help but complain. I wish I could re-do the night, and replace my stomach aches with a few more SMILES!
Can someone explain to me why I was so scared of going?
-D.F.T.B.A-
Mina;)
PS It is officially YOUR job to make sure that Sylvanna sees this:
I'm so sorry!!! I love you! I love you!!! I'm sorry! I'm soooo sorry! You know that I was just joking, right? Don't you dare make that face... I'm so sorry!!! :)
It was so great to see you last night, Yasmine! Nights like that can be overwhelming for me too. Especially when I see a lot of former students. I want to talk to everyone, then feel bad when I didn't get a chance to. You can't be so hard on yourself. Just be. Don't over analyze everything! Ha look who I'm talking to! Come visit sometime. We can chat some more and you can tell me all about high school. You are always welcome here! It's normal to feel awkward going back to a place that isn't yours anymore. Everyone here, students and teachers alike, would love to see you.
ReplyDeleteOh, and Gossip Girl?!!!? Really???!!! Geez! You should watch My So Called Life. That was a good show. It was cancelled after only one season, but had a cult like following.
Again, it was really great to see you even if we didn't get to talk too much!
Ms. Hoffman